i've been asking these question a lot this past few days. its like why me? why now? why the sudden? why? can't it be someone else? 

as expected, no human in the world would never have a problem in their life. so, me who's a normal (sort of) human being also have my own problem and right now the huge problem is about love. apparently people say i'm unable to love someone. ookay who told you that? i love my mum, my dad, my sister, my brother, cousins etc etc. aren't these people are someone as well? id not that's the question, it would be me wondering who the heck my boyfriend is because some keep saying i have a boyfriend and when i asked them who, they said how should they know.. yeah right like I KNOW it either. huh. 

well let see. i guess i do have a boyfriend but the thing is he didn't even know that i exist? oh wait correction. Boyfriends. yup i know them but they don't know me and we only met virtually. the love of my life the Kaulitz twins, Niall Horan and Ashton Irwin. yup. they're my boyfriends. hah. 

by the way, back to square one. so yeah i have a problem with that and because of that i've lost a great friend who i really care. we're nothing more than just people who know their names and wouldn't even say hi and stuff. it hurts at first but the more i think its what the best for him, the more i'm fine with it. its okay i guess. sometimes if you care so much about that person you have to let that person go to move on and that's what i'm doing now. trying my best to live in my present life and learn from my past to make a better future. 

i wish things like this never even happen because it sucks a lot. that special person will come along journey of my life and if its you, it'll be you. so chill. i want to enjoy my life as fun as i can and able to be what and who i want to be. don't force me into all this shizz. 

Mina x