why him? =/
October 05, 2010Sheiße! I don’t really want this. This is what I’ve been avoiding for and I’m avoiding this shit for months and months. Ugh. Why do you have to be that good? Why do you have to be kind to me? Why do you care for me? I like you but when you do all that things you did to me, you made the ‘like’ becoming more ‘LIKE’ and I don’t want that. I know it’s normal for every people to like or love whoever they want. But the thing is I’m not REALLY ready for this. I’m kinda phobia to this kind of shit. Yes I’ve been in love with someone before but because I love him TOO much, I broke my own heart. He’s the only guy I’ve ever cried for and I don’t want that tears flow on my cheeks again. It hurt me deeply. I don’t fucking want that again! I don’t want to hurt myself because of that. I hate it! Hate it really much. But this other guy made it all different. He made me to love someone again. He made me feel that feeling again. Before this, all the guys I ever see and saw was only a person that who I can be friends with and some of them I didn’t want to be friends with. BUT HIM? Why him? He used to be friends with a dearest friend of mine - who’s really in Perth right now and he is the only person who acts like a big brother to me except for Apip. And the thing is I hate to miss him. I hate to wait for him. I hate to think about him. But I ‘like’ him. This ‘like’ thing is the most fucking feeling ever made for me. By the way, I have finals to think about. So what the heck am I thinking about him right? I better think about getting to pass this pre-science and maybe I’ll get my DIS here or maybe at Shah Alam. That’s the only two places I want to study. After all, I have to make my parents proud of me. Who wouldn’t want that right? J
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