It's complicated
September 07, 2011
I have a complicated love life actually. Yes, I’m single. Not double or triple or whatever. Come to think of it I’ve been single for 3 years now. I know there are those who’ve been single longer than me. but hey, this is my story xD
All of the names you see here is not real. You may think it is but is not. I don’t want to give out names and let people know who’s this and who’s that. So yes, the names are not real. And for those who think they know who I’m talking about, keep it to yourself. Thank you J\
I didn’t notice those who have been around me had a crush on me for quite a long time. My mom, who’s very experience in love and has the instinct of a mother, knows who likes me and who’s not.
So here it all began when I have a problem last semester where a guy from my class named Nicky confessed to me that he likes me and he wants me to be the love of his life. Said that he’ll change just for me ‘cause he thought I’m his. Then came along a girl – who after all this time betrayed me – trying her ‘best’ to make me accept this guy. Keep saying that no man will ever do that to me and all that. *sigh*. The truth is I don’t have feelings for this guy. To me, he’s only a friend of mine who I know from class. Yes, he is nice but he’s nothing that made me giddy when I saw him. Besides, my mom said he’s not for me. So when my mom say stuff like that, you’ll have to accept it ‘cause everything she said is true. It’s not just I accepted the facts, I truly believe her actually.
Second, there are two guys from my high school classmate who’s still, I was told, had a crush on me. The first is Nathaniel and Denny. Nathaniel is a very rich handsome dude who I admired back in my high school years. He’s not only rich with ka-ching!, he’s also really good to me. I didn’t noticed this when my mom told me. After all doing the thinking, I remembered that he would do anything for me. Whatever I want, he’ll try to get it for me and I always felt embarrassed about that. I always pay him back with him don’t even realizing I’m paying him back. Sharing foods with him, giving gifts etc. He even gave me a song that really has a deep and beautiful meaning and the worst part is that I realize what it means yesterday after two years he’s been giving me the song. I still love the song. It’s on my evergreen list. I cried when I know what it means but I think it’s really too late to say it all. So I keep it all to myself.
As for Denny, he’s my best friend from high school. He is still now. I play with him, talk to him if I have a problem, hang out with him and share foods and water like all other best friends do. I did realize that he was asking me a question in class when we listening music from his mobile phone using an ear phone. Then a song titled Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat was heard. He asked me that is it okay if best friends became more than that and I answered no ‘cause to me best friend is a best friend. Not more than that. I can think of it when my best friend is up to a next level. After that, he introduced me another song from Samson called Tak Bisa Memiliki. It was great song actually and I like it but at that time I didn’t listen to the meaning of the song. I was enjoying the music and all that. The song was about a guy who loves this girl but he can’t have her and he’ll still be there for her and love her even though he can’t have her. That’s for short I think. My mom said if I do all the sweet talk to him, he’ll definitely come to me and leave his girl but as his best friend I would never ever do that to him. I love him yes but as my best friend. I will never even dare try to hurt him ‘cause we’ll always be best friends no matter what.
Now, it’s Adrian. Adrian is a really nice guy. He’s older than me that’s for sure but I don’t know how old is he. He’s funny and smart too. He’s a guy I know from college. I don’t know what to say about him actually ‘cause I know that he is a great guy and maybe, just maybe, he has feelings for me ‘cause I can sensed it but I didn’t dare to ask him. So for now, we’re still friends. Nothing out of the weirdness zone.
Lastly, it’s Henry. A guy I’ve known my whole life but never even talk to him face-to-face. Not even look, a smile or greet each other whenever we meet. I think I was trained not to be in contact with him in person. We only talked through phone and Facebook. To shorten things up, my family and his wanted us to be together. That’s all. No further explanation ‘cause I don’t want to cause riot.
So here are the boys in my life after all I’ve been through. Choosing one of them is hard and now I’m letting faith do their work ‘cause I really don’t want let my heart hurt for the second time. Zest would be the last one who I gave my trust, my whole heart and use it to hurt me. That will be no more. For now, i’ll just do my job as a student who wanted to be a successful doctor and be professional when i’m doing my job who can speak fluently in German, my all time favourite language other than Arab and French, and who also can play guitar really well. That’s all!
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